


In Dreams

by sallyamongpoison



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bath Houses, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Love Bites, M/M, Masturbation, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Rimming, Sexual Fantasy, steam room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyamongpoison/pseuds/sallyamongpoison
Summary: In which, during the two weeks before The Nein leave Zadash, Fjord and Caleb let themselves indulge in a moment of desire.





	1. Control

The room was quiet. Dark. Save for one candle that burned on the chest of drawers in the corner and the torchlight that crept in from under the door, there was nothing but darkness in there with him. It was unusual to have a room of his own. Before, before they’d been...taken, he’d always roomed with Mollymauk. Then there had always been light and noise. Molly was never one to be that quiet, even in sleep, so he’d found a bit of comfort in that. Now? Now it was just him, the gentle crackle of that one candle, and only the sound of the blanket rustling against his skin.

It had been a while since he traveled alone. After so long with the others it was genuinely strange for it to be just him and him alone. It was even stranger to stay in a room by himself. Fjord closed his eyes, tried to force himself to sleep, but there was something eating at the back of his mind. There always was, though. If it wasn’t the want to find more information on Sabian and his whereabouts, it was the guilt of not being able to protect Yasha and Jester from being taken by the Iron Shepherds. If neither of those things, it was the absence of a friend. And if it wasn’t any of those, which was more than enough, it was something else. Something that didn’t feel so much like pain, not really, nor did it feel like guilt or anger. It made his chest pound, surely, but it was more of an ache than anything else.

This time alone was supposed to have cured that. If anything else, information be damned, Fjord had hoped some time away might clear his mind.

He rolled onto his back. The thin mattress really did nothing to ease the stiffness of the plank of wood under it, and that wasn’t exactly doing the best for sore legs and hips from so much travel. Fjord was tired. He was tired enough to take a room and go to bed after only a meager supper and one pint of ale. By all reason he should have been asleep by now. This lying in bed and staring at the ceiling wasn’t going to help anything come morning, yet there he was. His back hurt, and he shifted again as he forced his eyes closed in the hope that maybe sleep might come hard and fast.

Fjord’s mind drifted. It was a sea of faces, as it so often was, and they ebbed and flowed in his mind’s eye. Situations of every kind turned over: memories, plans, dreams...then it was nothing. It wasn’t the nothing of the dark dreams, though. It was just darkness like the room was dark. Then it changed. It changed to a room that might have been familiar. In fact, it most closely resembled the room he’d last stayed in before he’d left Zadash. That room. That room, only it was more brightly lit than the one he was currently sleeping in. With his eyes closed it was like he was there, and he let himself fall a little into the not-dream that held him.

_ He’d stripped himself of his armor, late as it was, and had managed to splash some water on his face before looking over at one of the two small beds. One of them looked slightly more comfortable than the other, so maybe that would be his pick for the night. At least he wasn’t drunk, though. That was nice. Warmed through, yes, but not at all tired or tipsy. _

_ He sat down with a sigh. Boots next. Boots off and then he could sleep. From where he sat he could hear the lower tones of Beau and Clay talking, the intermittent ring of Jester’s laughter, and the sound of weight being shifted on the floorboards. They’d all settle in soon, he figured, and had just pulled off his second boot when a soft knock came to the door. Clay, probably. Since Molly...well, since they’d been back it seemed the Firbolg was his new de facto roommate.  _

_ “It’s open,” he said loud enough to be heard, and lifted his head to see not the colourful robes of Clay but instead the much smaller form of Caleb stepping inside. _

_ That...was a new one. _

_ “Ah, Nott and Jester are going to room together tonight,” Caleb explained. There was that halting quality to his words, and his voice was soft. In his arms was a pile of books and paper, and Fjord cocked an eyebrow as the human edged inside and kicked the door shut behind him. “Something about special detective things,” he went on, “I...would it be alright if I stayed with you?” _

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. His mind was supposed to be clear, and not conjuring up fantasies that included alone time that would never happen. Logically Fjord knew that this whole scenario would never happen. Caleb would never seek him out to stay in his room. He would never turn those sometimes so harsh but sometimes so kind blue eyes his way. He never had. Thinking as much, or fantasizing about as much, wasn’t going to help him. At all. Ever.

And yet he shifted again, cheek pressed against his pillow, and let out a breath he held.

_ “Sure. I, uh, can’t...well, if I snore then I’m sorry,” Fjord offered, then blinked twice before gesturing to the books and papers Caleb held, “I mean, you know, I wouldn’t want to disturb whatever you’re doing. Are you doing something?” _

_ Blue eyes locked with his for a beat, then looked down to the bundle in his arms, “No more than usual. I just figured if I didn’t bring all this out that there’d be nothing but dicks drawn all over this very expensive paper.” _

_ Which was an excellent point. Fjord smiled as he watched Caleb move to set everything in his arms down on the other bed. For a man so capable with the arcane, he moved a bit like an awkward schoolboy. Like he didn’t know so much what to do with his legs and arms. It was a shame. If the man had a bit more confidence, a bit more control, then he’d be a force. Caleb could seem so small, but Fjord knew better. He’d seen him look tall and powerful. Strong.  _

_ Handsome. _

He took another breath, though it shook a bit as he exhaled. Fjord shifted on the bed. Suddenly the blanket felt far too restrictive, and he was hot. Out of nowhere his skin started to burn and he had to kick a bit to let his feet poke out to give a bit of venting. That helped a little, though only a little. One hand balled into the blanket. 

Now he couldn’t control where his mind was going. He was merely rolling with this wave, and in his mind’s eye all logic disappeared. What would actually happen didn’t matter anymore. Now it was just what his mind and desires conjured up.

_ Caleb sighed and set to peeling out of the layers he wore. First was the scarf, then the coat, and for a moment he fiddled a bit before a pair of gloves and his boots went as well. Fjord had seen him like this before, though only a few times and never up close, but he couldn’t help but just watch. He shouldn’t be, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop. _

_ Then Caleb moved again, this time to the basin that Fjord had washed his face in. Jester still loved to tease Caleb for not bathing, but the man was more fastidious than he seemed. When he was alone and unafraid of being noticed, Caleb seemed to rather like at least getting comfortably clean. Now seemed like one of those times. And that he seemed comfortable enough to do it with Fjord in the room made something in his blood heat. _

_ The sound of water caught Fjord’s attention, and he watched as Caleb poured a bit more from the jug into the basin. The movement was easy and quiet, like Caleb didn’t want to disturb too much, and he dipped a rag into the water before he started rubbing it across his face and neck. Fjord watched, transfixed by the water that trailed down Caleb’s throat and dripped across his tunic, and swallowed thickly as he shifted on the bed. _

_ He couldn’t move. Nor could he really breathe if he were honest with himself. All he could do was watch the beads of water tun down Caleb’s neck and into the collar of the tunic he still wore. Yellow eyes were locked on the scruff at Caleb’s chin and how he carefully wiped away the day from what skin was exposed. Still clad in his breeches and tunic as he was, there wasn’t much, but what was visible was cleaner than it had been.  _

_ “Are you alright, Fjord?”  _

_ That voice was soft again. Gentle. Gentle but with a air of concern. Fjord looked up to meet Caleb’s gaze, and he blinked as he watched the other man watch him. There was something about his expression, something quizzical or confused, and Fjord watched as Caleb tipped his head to the side to expose the long line of his throat amid the ginger hair that fell nearly to his shoulder. _

_ “You’re staring into space,” Caleb said, “something on your mind?” _

_ Fuck. _

_ “Uh...no. Not...no,” Fjord stammered with a shake of his head. He sat up a bit more fully and rubbed a hand over his face, “just thinking about nothing. And, you know, everything.” _

_ “Ja, I know a bit about that,” Caleb chuckled. Blue eyes held Fjord’s gaze for a long moment, and just before he turned back to dip the rag back into the basin there was just the smallest hint of a smirk. If Fjord didn’t know Caleb he wouldn’t have caught it, either. It was the kind of smirk that Caleb saved for something private. Maybe it was a joke or something. Either way, it was there for the briefest moment, and it made Fjord’s stomach clench. _

That part of his mind that he liked to try to hide away had full reign now. Fjord knew better than this. He knew better than to fantasize about anything like this ever happening. It didn’t do anyone any good, and all it served for him was a throbbing in his pants that there was only one way to get rid of. Thankfully this time he was alone. He could indulge, if only this time, and no one would ever be the wiser. Then maybe he could go back and pretend as though it had never happened. He could completely close off this kind of thinking and it would never bother him again. Once and done. That was what it had to be. Just once.

Just once, and he could not imagine the way Caleb’s blue eyes cut to look at him over his shoulder for just a beat. Fjord’s hand smoothed down his chest, and he let out a soft sigh as he slipped it under the waistband of his breeches and smalls. His aching back was forgotten. The uncomfortable mattress was forgotten. Even his hunt for Sabian and this whole venture was forgotten. None of it mattered now. Now all that mattered was the room that wasn’t this room and the night that wasn’t tonight. Just once, and he could focus on things that were more real and concrete than what his own mind could create in a room by himself.

_ He was on his feet before he realized. His body moved of its own volition, and Fjord had little to no control over it. Maybe, on some level, he didn’t want to have it. He just wanted to do what felt right in the moment instead of constantly worrying about what the next step might be or mean or what the consequences were. He’d had fucking enough of consequences. Hadn’t they all? Hadn’t every single one of their weird little group of misfits had fucking enough of...worrying? _

_ Fjord’s steps were light on the floor as he closed the short distance between the bed and the washbasin. Caleb only just turned at his approach as Fjord came up on his right, and one eyebrow cocked as the larger figure all but slotted into the space beside him. He opened his mouth to speak, to perhaps ask Fjord what he was doing, but one large hand moved to take the rag that Caleb held to toss it back into the basin before he could. _

_ “What-” _

_ The hand that took the rag moved, rested on Caleb’s shoulder, and half spun him around so the human’s back was against the wall. Blue eyes were locked with yellow ones, and the only sound came from the slightly more labored breathing between them. That little question, that forgotten sentence that Caleb had started hung in the air as Fjord leaned in until they were almost chest to chest. He could feel the way Caleb breathed, could feel that his skin was warm even under the tunic he wore, and he could smell that slightly acrid scent of the arcane that hung around him like an aura. They stayed that way for a long moment, just looking at each other, until that same hand that had backed Caleb up against the wall moved again to rest at his hip. _

_ It smoothed up and along Caleb’s side, hitched his tunic up to reveal the pale skin of his midsection, to his chest, and then to his shoulder until Fjord cupped Caleb’s neck. It was still wet from the water, and his thumb brushed at a bead of water that still clung to his skin. That drop was warm from Caleb’s body heat, and he could feel Caleb shiver under his hand. Fjord could also feel how Caleb’s breathing shuddered just a little, and he licked his lips as he inched forward just a little more to be completely in Caleb’s face. _

_ “Say the word, and...I’ll stop,” Fjord murmured, “do you want me to?” _

_ Caleb just breathed for another moment, then looked back up into yellow eyes. Fjord worried there might have been fear there, or anger, but instead there was something else. Something...more heated. More decisive. More determined. _

_ “Nein,” Caleb whispered as one of his own hands lifted to wrap around Fjord’s wrist. He thought that maybe he would rip that hand away, but it stayed there just long enough that he could feel the warmth of Caleb’s palm. Then it smoothed up his arm to tangle in the back of his hair, “don’t stop.” _

_ That hand pulled, and their mouths crashed together.  _

_ In all the time that Fjord had known Caleb, in all the times that he let his imagination run just a little wild and contemplate what this exact moment would be, he never expected anything like this. He never expected to be able to feel the way Caleb’s chest moved against his own, the warmth of his lips, the brush of scruff against his skin, and the taste of Caleb’s tongue as it brushed against his own. Fjord had never let himself think it. He couldn’t. But now he had it, and he couldn’t get enough. _

Fjord groaned. In the silence of the room it felt loud, but lost as he was in his own mind he hardly heard it. If anything it only translated into the tale he was spinning for himself. If they kissed he would groan into it. He would groan, and that only served to make the heat that coiled low in his abdomen grow higher and and hotter. His hand squeezed, and Fjord brushed his thumb over the head of his cock. There was a part of him that wanted to lose himself in it, let the feeling of his own hand take over and get himself off, but in his mind they’d only just kissed.

How embarrassing would it be if he came from just a kiss? He wasn’t some hapless kid, after all. Okay, so maybe he was a bit hapless, but this was a far cry from him learning his own body as a teenager. One touch wasn’t enough. One kiss wasn’t enough. Fjord wanted more.

_ Both of Caleb’s hands were fisted in his hair as they kissed. They twisted and tugged, and it made Fjord groan into the mouth that was pressed against his own. Those hands seemed so delicate and almost frail when they’d met, but they weaved such amazing magic in the time since then. Anyone who thought Caleb weak was a fool. Even in this moment, as close and intimate as it was, those hands were powerful. They reduced Fjord’s rational mind to mush, and all he could focus on was the gentle tugging of fingers and the press of lips against his own. _

_ Then those hands tugged, and Fjord let out a soft sound as Caleb nipped at his lower lip. Yellow eyes opened to meet blue ones, and Caleb just smiled as he used those hands in Fjord’s hair to direct him downward. That...was surprising. Surprising, but possibly one of the most erotic things Fjord had ever experienced. To be directed, even without words, was enough to set his blood on fire.  _

_ So he moved with those hands. Fjord ducked his head, tipped his chin down, and pressed his lips to Caleb’s neck. His skin smelled and tasted like salt and a bit of the road they’d traveled, but there was something else there. There was something electric and beyond the average human there. Magic. It clung to Caleb’s skin, and Fjord parted his lips so that he could drink it in as he kissed and bit and tasted him. That heat in his body roared, and he couldn’t get enough. He wanted more of that taste and that feeling and the way Caleb’s hands moved him.  _

_ More. Just more.  _

_ His hands moved. They traced Caleb’s hips and his fingers gripped at the waistband of his pants as his mouth worked over the scruffy skin at Caleb’s throat. His legs were shaking, trembling as they worked to keep him upright, and he wanted not one thing more in the world than to completely give himself over to Caleb. Before, maybe, he’d wanted to learn from him. He’d wanted to be able to command his newfound power with the finesse that Caleb had, with all the control Caleb exhibited, but in this moment he wanted something else.  _

_ Fjord wanted that control, but not over any power. No. He wanted that control over him. _

The realization was enough to make him let go of his cock and pull his breeches and smalls down off his hips. It had him tossing the thin blankets off him as heat rolled through his blood, and he wrapped his hand back around his cock as he fell headlong into it. Fjord would never admit as much, probably not even to himself once his mind was his own again, but he wanted to give control over to his oftentimes very grumpy and yet incredibly caring wizard friend. He wanted those blue eyes to watch him, to know what they both needed, and direct him to it. He wanted to learn, to have someone else guide him, and to follow whatever order was given. 

_ Clumsy hands unbuttoned the front of Caleb’s pants before they pressed against the now very prominent bulge there. At his ear, Fjord could heard Caleb gasp. It was the smallest sound, soft and not unlike the softest breeze, but it made fireworks go off in his mind. He’d done that. He’d caused that. And just that soft sound was enough for him to know that he was doing what was wanted. What was needed, even. It turned his already shaking legs to jelly, and Fjord nearly collapsed in a heap as he fell to his knees. _

_ Those hands were still in his hair as he leaned forward to press his lips against Caleb’s abdomen. They twisted and tugged again, dragged Fjord’s mouth from his hips to his pelvis, then pushed a little to move him lower. Fjord’s lips parted, and his tongue pressed against the cloth that still hid Caleb’s cock, which earned him a long and low growl from the man above him. That alone sent shivers down his spine, and Fjord’s hands gripped hard at Caleb’s hips to pull him in even closer.  _

_ It was an intense shift from mere moments ago. Gone was the confusion and the insecurity in Caleb’s eyes. Fjord didn’t have to be looking into them to know that. Now there was control and desire there, and there was confidence in the way his hands pulled and tugged at Fjord’s hair so that his mouth was just where Caleb wanted it. The knowledge of that unspooled Fjord’s mind, let loose the need for a plan and to be the one who had the answers, and he let himself float along the waves of want that filled his thoughts and movements.  _

_ “Fjord,” Caleb breathed, and it was only then that yellow eyes opened again and looked up to meet blue ones that were looking down at him. There was something warm in that gaze, though it wasn’t a gentle look, and it filled Fjord’s belly with something that won out over even the desire and arousal he felt. _

_ Just the way he said Fjord’s name: kind and caring but still in control; it did things to him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. _

_ “Please,” Fjord said. The word came out before he’d even thought about it. He hadn’t needed to. It was the only thing that felt right in that moment. He had to ask, he would’ve begged if he had to, and Caleb just smiled before one eased out of the grip he had on Fjord’s hair to run is fingers gently along his scalp. _

_ A heartbeat. Two. Then Caleb let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle before he nodded. Ginger hair fell across his shoulders as he did so, and it was one of those most beautiful things Fjord had ever seen. They were fire and water, the sun and the sea, opposites but still full of the same raw power of nature. Together. Only this time he would submit, and he would let those flames burn high and wide across the landscape of his body and mind. _

_ Fjord’s hands moved, pulled at the material that still clung to Caleb’s hips until his pants and smalls were pooled around his ankles. His mind folded in on itself as Caleb’s cock sprang free, and Fjord licked his lips before he leaned in and pressed soft, wet kisses at the juncture of Caleb’s hip and groin. Above him, Caleb sighed again and both hands were back to being tangled in his hair. He didn’t move him, not just yet, and Fjord took that time to kiss and mouth at the soft skin around the nest of ginger curls that tickled his lips. _

_ “Yes,” Caleb sighed, “Fjord, yes.” _

This was probably the most delicious torture that his mind could have conjured up. Fjord was aching in his own hand as he merely traced calloused fingers along the underside his cock until his legs were shaking and his stomach clenched. It translated to feeling his legs quiver against the hardwood floor in his mind, and Fjord let out a soft cry as he finally wrapped his hand fully around himself and began to push his cock through his fist.

_ He’d thought perhaps that maybe he ought to tease a little, draw this out just a bit longer, but the truth of it was that Fjord didn’t have the patience. Maybe he should have, maybe he should have tried to use a bit of that finesse that he didn’t really have but could fake as necessary, but in the end all he wanted was to wrap his lips around Caleb’s cock. So he moved, tipped his chin up just a little, and opened his mouth so that he could swallow Caleb down.  _

_ Those fingers in his hair pulled hard, and he felt the vibration of Caleb’s moan just as much as he heard it. He groaned too, muffled though it was, and he bucked his own hips as the taste of the other man filled his senses. His tongue licked and swirled, and he swallowed around him as he fought to remember how to breathe through it all. He didn’t need to, though, or so it felt like. And like that the last remnant of the part of him that needed to be in control melted away as he bobbed his head and took every last inch of Caleb into him.  _

_ The shift started slow. Even with those hands in his hair, Fjord still had the freedom to move and suck as he liked. Then, slowly, that grip held him tighter and more in place as Caleb’s hips began to move. Before too long Fjord could hardly move at all, and it was only his tongue that could lick as Caleb fucked into his mouth gently at first and then harder as they found a rhythm that had Caleb groaning and growling as he took him. Fjord, for his part, let himself relax and just reveled in the sounds he heard and the the feeling of just how hard Caleb was in his mouth.  _

_ “Ja, Fjord, fuck,” Caleb hissed as his hips snapped forward and back until there was nothing but the wet sounds of his cock pushing deep into Fjord’s throat. _

_ And then it slowed, and Caleb’s hips stopped before one hand pulled hard at Fjord’s hair. He winced, though it made his cock twitch, and one eye opened to look up at where Caleb was looking down at him. Oh, what a sight it was, too. Caleb’s face was flushed and pink, his lips were parted, and his breath came in ragged pants as he looked down at what Fjord could only imagine the sight of himself was. Picturing it only made his blood run hotter- Caleb’s cock still in mouth, lips wet, and his hair a complete wreck from the hands in it. Caleb was in complete control of him, and he groaned at the loss of movement. He wanted Caleb to fuck him, to take his pleasure just as they were, but he’d stopped and Fjord’s heartbeat was roaring in his chest. _

_ “Look at me,” Caleb growled. His voice was shaking, but there was no less command in his tone. It made Fjord’s stomach flutter, and both eyes blinked as he held Caleb’s gaze. They stayed like that for a moment, just a moment, before Caleb’s hips began to move again and Fjord let out a groan as his eyes slid shut. _

_ “Look. At. Me.” _

_ Yellow eyes snapped open, his gaze lifted, and their eyes locked. Caleb’s hands pulled and tugged, just hard enough for them both to know who was in charge in that moment, and then Caleb’s hips began to move again. His gaze never wavered, stayed locked on Fjord’s eyes, and as his hips snapped forward and back Fjord could only groan around him as he watched Caleb watch him. _

His hand moved in time with the imagined feeling of Caleb’s cock in his mouth. It was an odd feeling, to imagine someone else’s pleasure instead of his own while still feeling it himself, but very obviously it was a good thing. Fjord’s other hand gripped hard at the sheet under him, and as his body tensed his eyes opened to the darkness of the room around him. Except he didn’t see it. All he saw was the heavy gaze of blue eyes on his, and that imagined look was his undoing. How could it not be? That Caleb would look at him like that, even if it was just a fantasy, was the one thing that he knew would send him over the edge.

_ They were both groaning and grunting loud enough that everyone could hear, and yet Fjord didn’t care. He didn’t care that they would know, and he would have to face everyone’s looks the next morning. He half expected someone to come pounding on the door, asking if everything was alright, but even he knew they wouldn’t. They would just know, and the knowledge of as much only made this that much better. _

_ Caleb had abandoned all of the common tongue by now, and instead was speaking what Fjord could only imagine was a string of Zemnian so filthy that it would make even the surliest sailor blush. That, and his name, over and over again. Then just his name as Caleb’s hips fucked hard into his mouth and his eyes watered as he fought to breathe against the onslaught. But there was something powerful in that. Something so powerful that he felt his own cock throbbing in his pants, and as Caleb’s hips pushed against him one more time then still ...he came too. _

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck  _ fuck! _ ” Fjord groaned as his hips lifted off the bed and he spilled into his hand, “Caleb...fuck...yes!”

Fjord collapsed against the rented bed, his hands fell away, and the sound of his own heartbeat thundered in his ears so loudly he thought that maybe anyone still awake in that Gods forsaken tavern could hear it. It sounded like the ocean roaring in a storm. It was deafening, but also so incredibly satisfying as he lay there boneless and panting. How long had it been since he’d been so thoroughly sated? Even by his own hand, it had been entirely too long since he felt as completely wrung out as he did then.

But it wasn’t just by his own hand, though, was it? Yes, his own hand had been the one to touch him, but it was the thought of Caleb that had done it. Caleb and Caleb’s control alone.

That had to be it. That was his one time. His one indulgence. And as he lay there struggling to breathe, Fjord had to resign himself to that. His nerves were still on fire, little shocks moved through him as he twitched and shifted on the mattress, but he had to be content with that. Just that. The one time. The one time he could allow himself the freedom to feel what he wanted before he had to go back and pretend as though these feelings never existed.

He slept. But even as he slept his could still feel and smell and taste magic and man on his tongue. That would be burned forever into his mind and soul, and even as he struggled to put that thought away forever...just as he’d promised himself…

Fjord wanted more.

\----

Caleb bolted upright with a gasp. His mouth hung open as he fought to breathe, and one hand curled into a fist as he held the blanket up against his chest. He was sweating, sweating and panting as though he’d just woken from a nightmare, but it wasn’t a cold sweat born of fear and regret. That was usually how it was when he woke in the night, but this? This was most decidedly not at all a bad dream.

Blue eyes darted around, took in the low light of the room, and Caleb fought to get his breathing under control. He instinctively looked for Nott, but something pricked at the back of his head from earlier that night. Something...something about going somewhere with Beau and Jester. Was it the Market? Pumat’s perhaps? How long had he even been asleep? Caleb had no real idea, and that was perhaps the most confusing thing. He always knew. But this? He had no idea at all.

He was alone, though. Alone in the room, sweating and trying to catch his breath as his mind tried to parse through what he’d just done. No. Not done. Dreamed. But had he, though? He knew what dreams felt like. This didn’t feel like a dream, or if it did it certainly didn’t feel like  _ his _ dream. Caleb knew what his dreams felt like, and he would never dream of Fjord on his knees in front of him with his fingers tangled in dark hair and…

Well, he would never admit to dreaming it. Not aloud and hardly even to himself. 

And yet, as Caleb flopped back down onto the bed and closed his eyes again, all he saw was that tavern room that wasn’t the one he was in. He could feel his skin, still flushed, and his breathing was the same. But he wasn’t in bed. No, he was standing upright against the wall with Fjord’s head resting against his hip. He was in bed, but he was also there. 

Only this time, in this dream, he was in control


	2. Wildfire And Tsunami

Lying there, in the dark, the only thing Caleb could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears and the sound of his own breathing. He was painfully aware of pretty much everything in that moment: the air around him, the muffled sounds of people just beyond his door, and himself. If anything, being totally and completely aware of himself was probably the most confounding and frustrating part of it. Caleb knew exactly what had caused this. He knew that dream, that dream that wasn’t his, was the reason he was burning hot and desperately trying to ignore the fact that he was hard in his smalls.

That shouldn’t have happened. Well, the whole thing shouldn’t have happened, but more than anything else he shouldn’t have woken up hard from that dream. Caleb knew better than that. He knew better than to want. Wanting only led to disappointment and shame, and this was no different to the scores of other times that he had to just...let it go. Let go of whatever it was that made his mind go a bit blank and his more primal functions take over. He had to. He needed to be in better control than that. More than that, he desperately needed to not be dreaming of his...compatriot? Friend? Friend. Fjord was a friend, and he needed to not be thinking of dreaming about what it might feel like to tangle his fingers in that dark hair and thrust his hips against his mouth, and…

“Fuck,” he whispered. It sounded loud in the darkness, and one hand clapped over his mouth as soon as the sound escaped him.

Caleb immediately rolled over until he was on his side with one leg hiked up and thrown across the bed. Twisted up like this he felt a little less, er, exposed at least. He was too hot for a blanket, and at least should anyone come in he could feign that he was still sleeping. In reality, the reality that didn’t include Fjord kissing him and dragging his hands along Caleb’s body, he was trying to slow his breath and not let himself get lost again. Blue eyes squeezed shut, and he gripped hard at the sheet that covered the lumpy mattress he was currently pressed into.

_ “Come here,” his voice was soft but firm, half-growl, and he tugged at the strands of hair that were still tangled in his fingers. _

_ Caleb pulled Fjord, who was still leaned against him with his forehead against his hip, to his feet. The both of them were breathing hard, and as Caleb pulled Fjord back in against his chest to kiss him again he could feel them both trying to breathe together. The kiss didn’t help that. He knew it wouldn’t, but there was something in him that so desperately wanted to make Fjord pant and gasp for breath because he stole the air from him. _

“Gods,” Caleb whimpered and tried to think of anything but that. He was moving without realizing- his hips bucking ever so slightly into the mattress, and as he tried to force himself to stop he gritted his teeth together. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be  _ enjoying _ this, but his nerves were alight and oversensitive, and even just the slight pressure of the mattress against him was enough to make him whine and grunt into the thin pillow his face was mashed into.

_ By the time Fjord finally pulled away they were both breathing hard. It would have been difficult to see in the low light, but Caleb knew that Fjord would be flushed in the cheeks. He was too, if he were being honest with himself, and he could feel just the slightest shake in his hands as he trailed his fingers through the short hair at the nape of Fjord’s neck. It was just one moment of sweetness. Something small. In the whole of everything, everything they’d ever done, they deserved even just one moment of sweetness. _

_ They couldn’t linger in that moment, though. If they did, it ran the risk of this all fading. Something sweet and gentle and slow would kill whatever this was, and Caleb wasn’t ready to let it go just yet. So saying, blue eyes met yellow ones again, and he took a step first out of the pool of his clothes on the floor then forward so Fjord had to take a step back. Then another. Another. Caleb’s hands were still in Fjord’s hair and resting on his shoulder, if only to keep them close as he guided them backward, and they not terribly slowly made their way back toward the bed Fjord had been in when Caleb had entered the room. _

_ He stopped them when Fjord’s legs knocked into the bedframe, and for a moment they paused. Just a pause. A breath. It was only just long enough for them both to realize where they were, and Caleb felt his lips tip upward into a smile as he pulled just hard enough at Fjord’s hair to guide him to fall backward and sit. He could hear the soft grunt, or perhaps it was a gasp, that eeked out from between Fjord’s lips as he moved, and once he was seated Caleb followed him over with that hand still resting on Fjord’s shoulder to push him onto his back. _

_ “Caleb-” the way Fjord said his name was like a breath. A whisper. But it gave him pause, and Caleb looked into those yellow eyes with a more serious expression. _

_ He licked his lips, “Say the word and I’ll stop,” Caleb said in much the same way Fjord had said those words to him before, “do you want me to?” _

_ There was a beat where nothing happened. It was just the two of them and the sound of their breathing. Fjord didn’t look away, though. He held Caleb’s gaze for a long moment before he shook his head once, then again with a bit more conviction. “No,” he answered as both hands came to rest on Caleb’s hips, “just...it’s been a while. A long while.” _

_ So there was that. _

_ “For me too, eh?” Caleb teased, then tipped his chin down to nip at Fjord’s neck just shy of his earlobe, “don’t be shy to tell me to stop, if you need.” _

_ Those hands on his hips moved, and Caleb jumped just a little as Fjord grabbed hard at his arse, “Noted.” _

That was it. He was lost now. If it were possible, Caleb’s blood was running hotter than it had been when he’d woken up. He couldn’t fight it. He couldn’t fight the heat or the dream, or whatever this was, or the fact that he so desperately wanted to enjoy it. One hand that had been clutching the sheet let go, and bit at his lip as he slipped that hand under his waistband to wrap around his cock. He was so hard that he ached, and just that touch alone made him whine and buck his hips into his fist. 

To imagine the feel of Fjord under him, giving his consent to touch, drove him absolutely mad.

_ It was flurry of lips and hands after that. What clothes they still had left were pulled and wrenched away, then tossed with no care of ceremony. It was an only mildly awkward affair which was punctuated briefly by Caleb’s amused smile when he got Fjord out of his pants. Clearly he hadn’t been the only one to enjoy their little tryst against the wall, though Fjord’s little huff of embarrassment kept him from saying anything, and it made his blood heat that much more to see the evidence of it.  _

_ Their mouths crashed together again once Caleb had flung the offending pants to the floor, and he cupped Fjord’s chin with both hands as lips and tongues met. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was hungry and fevered, and Caleb groaned into Fjord’s mouth. Had he only come moments ago? It was as though his body couldn’t remember for how hot he was beneath his skin. That kiss fueled it, as did the way Fjord’s hands smoothed along his back. Up and down, touching and caressing, and his hands were warm too. Warm and strong. Capable. _

_ Caleb pulled away from that kiss to let his lips wander lower. He wanted more of the taste and the feeling of skin under his kisses. His tongue licked, tasted salt and sweat, and under him Fjord gasped and writhed. Caleb took note, as he always did of important things, of where it seemed Fjord liked him to kiss the most. His memory was perfect, and he knew that he could recall every single spot for the next time. _

Next time. As though there would be one. As if this imagined scenario was the beginning of something. It was hard to not let his mind unspool and roll forward, to play out the improbable dozens of times this would happen again, but he stayed with that want for the moment. His hand moved slowly, pumped tight and hard, and he could feel the enamel of his teeth creaking as he clenched his jaw for the feel of it. Coming now would only ruin the moment, so he had to pace himself.

Make it last. Just in case there truly wasn’t a next time.

_ His hands roamed too. Short nails scratched, fingers dug into the muscle he felt, and Caleb growled against Fjord’s collarbone when he felt Fjord’s hips lift to buck against his own. That moment he tucked away, just for himself, and kissed his way lower. Teeth now, too, and he sucked deep kisses as he saw for to make Fjord squirm under him. Lower, and slowly, as one hand smoothed upward so that his thumb could flick at one pert nipple. That earned him a groan. It was a very good groan, too. _

_ “Caleb,” Fjord panted, “that’s...I…” _

_ “Good?” _

_ “Yeah,” he answered, “real good.” _

_ He did it again, slightly harder this time, then pinched it between his thumb and index finger. Another groan, and Fjord’s hips rose from the bed again. Like before with the hands in his hair, Fjord seemed to like a bit of roughness. To be fair, they both seemed to. Something sweet and sensual wasn’t exactly the name of the game here, and Caleb pinched hard as he let his teeth sink into one of Fjord’s pecs.  _

_ “Fuck!” Fjord hissed. His hands were at Caleb’s arse again, and he grabbed hard. “Gods, fuck, Caleb.” _

_ Caleb was smiling against the skin of Fjord’s chest. He could feel a thundering heartbeat under his lips, and he rested his forehead against Fjord’s shoulder for just a moment. Though his lips rested, his fingers didn’t. He tugged gently at the nub he held, rolled it just enough to be felt, then pinched again. But that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for the heat in his blood, nor the way his cock was twitching and already getting hard again. _

_ His lips were moving again, lower, until they came to the twin of the nipple he was already teasing. Caleb felt Fjord’s swift inhale as he let out of a puff of breath against it, then parted his lips to just barely lap with his tongue. Those hands on his arse gripped tighter, ground the in closer together, and Caleb cast a glance upward to see how Fjord’s head was thrown back with his eyes shut. It was a beautiful sight, another for him to tuck away, and he smiled again before he let his tongue lick with a bit more intention. _

_ Tongue turned to lips turned to teeth until both his fingers and his mouth teased with equal parts roughness and gentleness. He wasn’t out to actually hurt Fjord, after all. Caleb only meant to give him that bit of pain he so seemed to enjoy, and he was rewarded with a choked off kind of moan that went straight to Caleb’s cock.  _

Gods help him, but he was a mess. His hand was slick now, and it made the motion that much easier but so much more difficult to control. Every pump of his hand was ecstasy and torture at the same time, and Caleb was groaning into the pillow as his hips and hand moved together. He’d never been so thankful that Nott was elsewhere. Perhaps it was strange to think such things at a time like this, but he couldn’t stomach the embarrassment. His dream counterpart had no shame in the noise they made, sure, but back in reality the last thing he wanted was someone coming in and thinking he was sick or hurt and completely ruining this one selfish moment he was allowing himself.

_ He lifted his head, studied the way Fjord’s jaw was clenched and the way his pulse fluttered at his neck. Those hands were still grinding them together, and as he pinched his fingers again he rolled his hips. That was for his benefit too. Hard again, and Caleb wanted that friction. He wanted to feel them rubbing together until they were both desperate messes for each other. He wanted the wildfire and the tsunami, the two primal forces working with and against one another, until there was hardly anything controlled between them. _

_ “Fjord,” Caleb prompted softly, “are you with me?” _

_ “Fuck yeah, I am.” _

_ “Everything is good?” _

_ “I think that’s-” he gasped as Caleb lowered his mouth again to suck hard, “fuck, I think that’s pretty fuckin’ obvious right now.” _

_ Again he lifted his head, “What do you want?” _

_ Fjord lifted his head, and blue eyes met yellow ones for a long moment. His lips parted as though he were about to speak, but nothing came out. Not yet. Perhaps the question confused him. _

_ “I mean, I can keep this up all night if that’s what you want,” Caleb went on, “but…” _

_ “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Fjord asked. There was maybe a hint of embarrassment there, but his tone was light. _

_ “Not ‘make you’ so much,” Caleb teased as his lips began to move lower again, “unless that’s what you want.” _

_ He felt Fjord’s exhale more than he heard it. It was a low sound like something had settled deep in his chest, and Caleb felt Fjord’s cock twitch against his own. _

_ “Make me...ask,” he said finally, “yeah. Make me ask.” _

_ “Beg?” He looked back up then, and Caleb could feel that he was smirking. It wasn’t something he did often, not unless he’d done something very clever, but he was smirking all the same. _

_ “Yeah.” _

He had to practically stuff his fist in his mouth to cover the groan that escaped him for that. This was getting out of control. The feeling he had, the feeling in the back of his head, was like his own desire but multiplied tenfold. It was as though it was his own and not at all. Like someone was egging him on. Making him bolder. Making him wring out all of his fantasies and wants from his brain like a wet sponge. There they were, though. And there it was. Control. Fjord wanted his, and Caleb wanted to indulge him more than he’d wanted anything in that moment.

_ Caleb held Fjord’s gaze for a long moment. It was heavy- half lidded eyes, heaving chests, and both of them shaking just a little. He’d read that tawdry romance novel that Jester had seemed to love, but even it couldn’t hold a candle to this moment. No way. In that story it was all about ripping bodices and forbidden love and sensual sex that was the epitome of gentle and loving. _

_ There was no begging in Tusk Love, that was for damn sure.  _

_ He let his mouth move again, and his fingers, though Caleb did raise his hips until there was a bit of space between them. He mourned the loss of that heat and friction between the two of them pressed together, but it was replaced by his own hand as it snaked downward. Caleb felt Fjord’s breath catch as nimble fingers and a warm palm wrapped around them both and slowly began to stroke. _

_ “Oh-” Fjord breathed, “yeah, that’s...that’ll do it.” _

_ Caleb chuckled as his lips brushed over one of Fjord’s ribs, “Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?” _

_ “Sa- er...someone did,” he said, “long time ago. Threatened to gag me once.” _

_ “We may need to explore that later,” Caleb teased as he traced hot skin with just the tips of his fingers. That made Fjord squirm, and as he did Caleb sank his teeth into the thin and sensitive skin at Fjord’s ribs. It would pinch, but it made Fjord’s hips stutter and buck against his hand. _

_ His hand worked slowly. He touched and teased them both with gentle fingers before wrapping his hand back around them to pump them together. Fjord’s hands had left him, which was a shame, and were instead gripped hard into the blanket that covered the bed. His breath was shallow, uneven, and as Caleb picked up the pace of his hand every so often he could feel Fjord’s body straining to keep still. _

_ “Caleb,” he grunted, “I want…” _

_ “What do you want?” he asked as he half folded in on himself to kiss at Fjord’s abdomen. _

_ “I want...I want…” _

_ “Now’s the time to use your words, you know,” he teased, and kissed his way lower. _

_ There were no words coming, though. Just sounds. Just the sound of Fjord trying to breathe mixed with little gasps and groans. Caleb was fighting hard not to do the same. The feeling of his own hand mixed with Fjord’s cock against his own was steadily draining his resolve. He wanted to make good on his word to not do anything until Fjord begged, but he was losing the willpower to not just use his hand to get them off before he could. _

_ He kissed lower. It was an awkward way to be: trying to hold himself up with one hand between them and folded over as his lips moved. Maybe this was something that didn’t actually happen, not in real life, but he was managing it now and wasn’t going to question. Maybe working with Nott on trying to be a bit more dexterous was paying off. That, or he was going to be in a world of abdominal core pain later.  _

_ “Can’t,” Fjord whimpered, “words.” _

_ “Let me help, then,” he growled, and resettled himself so he could lick the head of Fjord’s cock. _

_ The sound he heard was like that of someone choking. And the way Fjord’s hips bucked so his cock thrust between Caleb’s lips was sharp. Rough. Desperate. _

_ “I want,” Fjord began again, but cut himself off as Caleb sucked, “Caleb, I want you. Please. Please, please.” _

_ He pulled away just long enough to look up and see the wreck that so very capable and put together Fjord had become. “How do you want me?” _

_ Fjord whined, “I want…” and, with reflexes Caleb hadn’t quite ever seen from Fjord, let go of the blanket with one hand to tangle in Caleb’s hair to pull him up so they were face to face, “fuck me.” Then he pulled Caleb to him so their lips met again. _

Two words. All it took was two words, and Caleb was fucking his hand in earnest. His eyes were rolling behind closed lids, and his other fist was still stuffed in his mouth to muffle the groans and gasps that left him. He’d abandoned all embarrassment and the want for secrecy now. He didn’t care. All he cared about was the feeling of something warm and slick wrapped around his cock.

_ A flurry of motion saw them moved: Fjord on his belly with his hips hiked in the air aided by whatever pillows and the blanket bunched up under them. It wouldn’t be much against his weight, but at least Caleb didn’t feel so bad about him having to support himself with just his arms and his knees. He was on his knees, too, behind Fjord and with a bottle of oil he’d grabbed out of his coat pocket. It was an ingredient for some spell, though which one escaped him for the moment, and would do for what they needed now. He took a breath to steady himself, and just took in the long lines of Fjord bent over before him. _

_ It was enough to make him want to burst without being touched. _

_ He took his time, though, as best he could. Fjord had said it had been a long while, and while a bit of playful pain here and there was fine he wasn’t about to actually hurt anyone. Moving too fast would cause pain, so he worked one finger first, then two, then three (just to be safe) inside of Fjord until he seemed comfortable enough. At least if the way Fjord bucked his hips backward against Caleb’s hands and swore into the mattress meant that he was comfortable. More than comfortable, Caleb hoped. _

_ “Tell me if you need me to slow down,” Caleb said as he poured a bit more oil into his hands and wrapped it around his cock. Gods, but that felt entirely too good, and he had to stop himself from just fucking into his own hand, “or stop.” _

_ “Now who’s fucking talking too much,” Fjord hissed over his shoulder, and unless it was Caleb’s imagination he could swear that Fjord wiggled his hips just a little. Impatience. Or petulance. Either way, it made him smile as he sat back up and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock. _

_ Again, he took his time. Slowly he pushed past Fjord’s entrance and his mouth fell open as that heat pulled him in. It was so hot, so fucking...like a vice, but in the best way. Hopefully he’d done enough to prepare, but there were no words saying he needed to stop or slow down even further. It took all of his resolve not to thrust in like a madman, to just take until he got what he wanted, but he forced himself to be calm. He had to be calm. In control. _

_ Under him he heard a long, low, protracted groan leave Fjord’s lips. It wasn’t loud, not really, but in the quiet of the room it sounded like thunder. It sounded like waves battering rocks. It was beautiful in the way that the sea pummeled the beach was beautiful. And it spurred him on to keep pushing in until he was buried to the hilt and left panting and gasping as he leaned over Fjord’s back. _

_ “Fjord,” Caleb groaned, “fuck.” _

_ “I think,” Fjord managed after a moment, though his voice was just a bit pinched and breathy, “that’s the idea.” _

_ Cute. Of course he would be cute while Caleb was buried in his arse and trying desperately not to come from the feeling alone. _

_ They stayed like that for a moment, if only so Caleb could get himself under control, before he rested one hand on Fjord’s shoulder and the other at his flank. He could feel Fjord’s knees shaking, and he had to wonder if that was anticipation or the angle he was holding himself at. Still, he didn’t move. Not yet. He just...he wanted to savor this for just a breath longer. _

_ Then he moved. He moved, and it was like the world had flipped upside down. Caleb let the pace build, slow at first so Fjord was groaning and moving his hips back and forward with each thrust, then faster. And faster. And faster. Until his hips were hitting hard at Fjord’s arse, and the sound of skin on skin filled the room. They’d completely disregarded the need for quiet now. Fjord was gasping and groaning under him, and any knowledge of the common tongue had left Caleb so he was moaning in half-hearted Zemnian. _

_ Harder. Faster. Deeper. Caleb wanted to sink into the body beneath him and let that warmth take him over. That heat- it was as intense as an inferno. He felt flames lick his skin as he moved. At some point, Fjord’s knees had given out and they fucked hard into the lumpy mattress. The sound of bedsprings screeched, and the way their bodies collided together made a percussive din that anyone probably within a hundred foot radius could hear. Caleb didn’t care. Fjord also didn’t seem to care. Their voices raised high and loud, and Caleb gripped hard at Fjord’s shoulder as he felt that wave build and crest inside of him. _

_ His other hand, the one braced against the bed, moved to hike Fjord’s hips back up, and he leaned his full weight on the arm that pinned Fjord to the bed. Hips steady, or steady-ish, he wrapped his hand around Fjord’s cock and stroked him in time with the way he thrust into him. He squeezed, not enough to hurt, but enough to mimic the pressure around his own cock, and a few mere moment later Fjord let out a choking kind of gasp as he spent himself in Caleb’s hand and onto the mess of blankets under them. _

_ Caleb could feel Fjord’s insides clench as he came, and Caleb gritted his teeth as he thrust in hard another few times before he felt that cresting wave finally crash down and roll him over. He came, Fjord’s name on his lips as his hips ground hard against his arse. Though he’d come once already, nothing prepared him for the way he lost control of his body and he collapsed on top of the warm and sweaty back under him.  _

He came at the same time, cock spurting hard in his hand as he bit down on his fist. “F-Fjord,” Caleb grunted. It was much quieter than the scene in his head, but he could taste blood in his mouth. He’d broken the skin of his hand, but felt no pain as the aftershocks rolled through him. It was a mess, he knew, but as he all but melted into a puddle Caleb couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Spent now, and unable to move, Caleb closed his eyes and saw darkness for the first time all night. No dreams. No fantasies. Just...the kind of darkness that came from being so thoroughly sated and exhausted that it was welcome. His body ached, like what he’d dreamt of had actually happened, but it was a good kind of ache. It was an ache that he felt so deeply in his bones that it made him smile against the pillow. Then he chuckled. Nay, he giggled. He couldn’t help it.

But this had to be the last time. The first and last time. No matter how much he wanted this again.

\----

The next morning Fjord woke. Not with a start, not with alarm, but slowly. For just a minute the bed felt warm, like perhaps he wasn’t alone in it, and he rolled over to touch the body that he was so convinced was there. He could see it in his mind’s eye: pale skin, ginger hair, relaxed expression as he slept. But when his hand reached out to touch and felt nothing but more of the thin and otherwise unpleasant mattress, Fjord frowned.

A dream. No, two dreams. A dream of his own and a dream that wasn’t his. Somehow. 

Finally he dragged himself out of bed, but as he sat up and moved to actually get up, his body seemed to catch up with him. An ache, an ache in his knees and...well, his lower back, swelled up. He shifted uncomfortably, and the weight highlighted another kind of soreness. It was a soreness deep inside of him. Sore like he’d been fucked. Sore like that dream had been real.

He got up to his feet, if not a bit awkwardly, and managed to get to the stand with the washbasin so he could splash some water on his face. Surely it was just his mind playing tricks. He’d let himself have a little fantasy, something to get him through the night, but nothing more. Was it possible for his body to be melodramatic? Because if it was possible, then his body was certainly doing that.

Yellow eyes lifted to search the dingy, cracked mirror that was set up beside the basin. Fjord studied himself for a long moment. Everything seemed in order. He looked...normal. Or as normal as he ever looked. Still, he took in the sight of himself and let his gaze wander lower. His eyes widened, though, after a long moment. One hand lifted to touch at his chest, and he winced as his fingers pressed against a bruise that most certainly hadn’t been there yesterday.

On his chest, where in that dream Caleb had bitten him so wonderfully hard, there was a mark. A mark he could feel just as well as he could feel that deep ache in him. And, if he looked closer, he could see something else. Something that was equally as puzzling as it was enough to make his blood warm.

Teeth marks.


	3. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, after Fjord returns to Zadash, both he and Caleb must reconcile the dreams they shared.

Gods, but he was happy to be back in civilization. Not that Fjord had been much of one for a huge city like Zadash, but he’d come to learn to enjoy it at least. The others were there, and if he were honest with himself...he’d missed them. That was new for him. Being alone had always just kind of been a part of his life, something he’d maintained because it was easier than being shunned, but the few times he’d had a tight knit crew were some of the best he’d ever had. The Nein, too, were some of the best. 

When he’d come back there had been the usual smiles, pats on the back, and the quiet asking of if he’d found what he was looking for. Fjord hadn’t, hardly even a whisper about Sabian’s whereabouts, and it bothered him. It had made him set his jaw and just shake his head. But he’d gone, if only to satisfy his need for answers, and that had at least closed the door on things for the moment. For now, he had to other things to worry about. They would be leaving soon, in a couple of days by this point, and there was still a lot of preparation that had to happen.

Only now he found it difficult to meet Caleb’s eyes.

He’d spent the first day back in town with the others, catching up and resting a little, but by the time the next morning came and talk of...ugh, shopping came up Fjord was ready to do anything but that. Pumat was great and all, but Fjord knew they’d more or less cleaned him out of anything useful. So why bother? That, and watching the others pick and choose and haggle grated on his nerves just a little. Man of action, Fjord liked to think of himself as, and shopping was the antithesis of any kind of real action.

“You know what you should do?” Jester offered over a plate of bacon and eggs, “you should go to the Pillow Trove and get a bath.” She was gesturing with her fork toward him and grinned, “after all that riding, you need to do more than just wash yourself in a bucket.”

“Saying I’m not up to your standards, there, Jester?” Fjord deadpanned. He had his own plate in front of him, but instead of tucking in he’d mostly been pushing his food around his plate. Since that night in the tavern while he was away, Fjord had found sleep a bit hard to come by. Every night before he went to bed he had to fight to not let his mind wander somewhere it didn’t need to go. So it kept him up. And when he was tired like that his appetite suffered.

She shrugged, “They also have, like, a steam room and these different baths that are hot and cold, you know?” then leaned on her elbow so she was looking at him. Her head cocked to one side, and she cast a glance off to the end of the table for just a minute. “It’s pretty cool. And nice. Nice and cool.”

He shook his head, “I don’t know that I want to take a cold bath.”

“You don’t have to, though!” Jester argued, “and you can be all nice and relaxed, and it’s really fancy, and you were gone a long time.”

“Might not be such a bad idea,” Clay offered, “help you reset a little?”

Yellow eyes looked between the two of them, “Why do I feel like y’all already talked about this?”

This time Jester ducked her head down and became incredibly interested in her breakfast before she smiled again, “I’m just saying that if you don’t want to come shopping with us for super necessary supplies so we don’t, like, die on the road then you should maybe go do something nice?”

And that, bless Jester’s heart, did make something stir a little in Fjord’s chest. After everything, after him being gone for that time, they still cared enough that he took care of himself. As he looked around at the others, they seemed to be nodding along with the idea. Maybe they all had talked about it. Maybe he should. Maybe he should just go and pay a stupid amount of money just so he could relax before they went off again.

What harm could it do?

“Take Caleb with you,” Beau said, “he’s been up to his ass in books for days, and he needs to unwind a little too.”

“What?” Caleb asked, his voice a bit pinched and incredulous, “I don’t- no, I don’t need that. Besides, I have some things I need to speak with Pumat about also-”

“I’ll get them for you,” Nott interrupted, “just give me a list.”

“You, of all people, are suggesting I go boil myself in some water?”

“I’m suggesting that you should go relax. And not with a book,” Nott replied, “so there.”

Fjord could feel his mouth hang open just a little, and his heart started to pound a little in his chest. That was not a good idea. Nope. No way. That was Bad. He’d only just gotten himself under control from that night, and there was no way he was going to be able to go to a fucking bath house with Caleb and not...well, he just couldn’t. 

“I don’t-”

“So it’s settled, then,” Jester announced after she swallowed her last bite, “we’re going to see Pumat and get all kinds of really cool magic stuff, and Fjord and Caleb are going to go and have a bath. A nice bath. And not complain about it.” Then she pointedly turned to look Fjord directly in the face first, then Caleb, “Right?”

Since when had Jester gotten so resolute?

“I mean, it’s a little early to go over there, and bother them.”

“Then it won’t be crowded," Jester argued, then made a little shoo-ing motion with her hands, “and you haven’t even eaten anything anyway, so you’re really just wasting your time now.”

That was how, at somewhere near ten in the morning, Fjord found himself standing at the front desk of the Pillow Trove with Caleb. They hadn’t talked much on the way over, and it seemed as though Caleb wasn’t exactly looking Fjord in the eyes either. He was fine with that, though. If they shared a look for too long that would spell trouble. As it was, he could hardly get the way Caleb had said  _ “look at me” _ out of his head. Even thinking about it in passing made his body feel hot. So no, not talking and just walking together with some shared weird sense of purpose was fine with him.

“That will be four gold pieces each,” the attendant had said, “would you like to have your clothes cleaned as well?”

“Uh…” Fjord began, then looked back over at Caleb. He shook his head, and Fjord turned back to the lady behind the desk, “no. Thank you.” And with that he held out eight gold with nary a thought or hesitation. They were really going to do this. This was going to actually happen. 

Why was this actually happening?

The attendant held out two what looked to be silver chains with a disk hanging from each of them, “These will open cabinets for you to keep your things in. Also, any additional services will be charged to your number to be paid upon leaving,” she told them as she rounded the desk and gestured for them to follow. Fjord moved first with Caleb stalling just a bit behind him. What was that about? It wasn’t as though anyone had actively forced him to come. Like Fjord, had he truly not wanted to he could have just done something else. He’d come, though, and as Fjord turned to look at him it was obvious that Caleb was far more interested in studying the light fixtures than he was in following them

“This way, please,” the attendant prompted, which seemed to jolt Caleb from his thoughts so he could trail behind them both. They were led down a short hallway to another door, which was opened for them, “go ahead. Someone will be with you shortly.”

Inside the door and down a long hallway, Fjord could smell incense. Nice incense. The scent of it was heady, but not overpowering. In fact, just inhaling it made him relax just a little. Maybe...maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. It wasn’t as though Jester and the others would ever actually suggest he do something that he hate. Fjord loved water, loved a decent soak in a hot tub, and so long as he put that little dream out of his mind this had the potential to be a pretty great time. 

In thinking that, though, one hand rest to scratch a bit at his chest where that bruise had been. It had faded in the days’ travel back to Zadash, but it was almost as though he could still feel it. While it had been purple and sore he’d touched it, winced at the feeling, but couldn’t leave it alone. Now that it was faded it was proof that he needed to put that night, weird as it was, behind him. This whole situation was a good chance to move forward. Maybe even the fact that Caleb was there was a good thing. They could relax and be around each other, and Fjord could not make it weird.

Who was he kidding, though? Making things weird was like his special talent.

They were led to a large changing room, to the cabinets where they could lock up their things, then shown the actual bathing room. Inside there were three decently sized pools: one cold, one warm, and the other apparently very hot and full of mineral water. Apparently that was supposed to help the relaxation. Something about being good for the body or some shit like that. Fjord was happy to see that there was no one else there, early as it was, and that eased him a little bit more. It was going to be weird enough with just Caleb there, and he didn’t exactly want to have to navigate that with strangers roaming around as well.

“There are basins for you to rinse off in before you get in the pools,” the little elf girl who had shown them around said, “we ask that any time you leave the bathing area that you wash back off before going back in. It’s...health ordinances, and just good practice.”

So this place was definitely nicer than some of the ones he’d been in before.

“Yeah, thanks,” Fjord said before he lifted the hand that his little bracelet wrapped around his wrist toward his cupboard. The disk moved on its own, and once his hand was close enough it slipped into a small slot so that the door popped up. Convenient. Magical and convenient.

“Can I get you gentlemen anything?” she asked, “it’s perhaps a bit early for wine, but we do have fresh fruit served on a cold tray. It’s most refreshing while you’re sitting in the hot water. Or perhaps some juice?”

Caleb cleared his throat from where he’d been standing behind Fjord, and lifted a hand, “perhaps the fruit plate,” he said, then cocked and eyebrow as Fjord turned to look at him, “since some of us didn’t finish breakfast this morning. You can put it on my, er, account.”

She nodded, then bowed a little before gesturing to the open door, “make yourselves at home, then. I’ll bring in that tray for you.” Then she was gone, and they were left standing there. Alone. Just the two of them.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Fjord said over his shoulder as he pretending to be very interested in the interior of the cabinet. He wasn’t stalling getting undressed that was for sure. He’d lived aboard crowded ships with other men for years and had never once batted an eye about getting naked in front of them. He’d roomed with Molly, too, and had never felt weird about shucking his clothes. Once upon a time they’d all been naked in  _ front of each other _ at another bath house, and he’d not hesitated. So why was he hesitating now? 

 

He heard the sound of another cabinet opening, and Fjord looked over to see Caleb getting out of his boots. It seemed, despite his earlier disposition, that he was...moderately okay with this. Somehow. Weirdly. Then again, Fjord had a bit different context to this than Caleb had. Caleb wouldn’t be the one thinking about a night that had never happened. He wouldn’t know at all what it felt like to have his hands in Fjord’s hair and how it felt when it was pulled just so. He wouldn’t remember what it sounded like as they let their voices carry with no regard for who might hear. He wouldn’t remember the mix of pain and pleasure from lips and teeth, and-

“Did you hear me?” Caleb asked, and Fjord had to blink a few times before he realized that he was being spoken to. “I said that it wasn’t a problem, and that you should probably eat something.”

Yeah, maybe he should.

He nodded and set to getting out of his own clothes. Words were a little too hard right now. More than that, he was carefully approaching the territory of being ‘too hard’ with the prospect of having to be fully naked. That was the last thing he needed: a erection when he was supposed to just be going to sit and relax. With Caleb. Alone. 

They were both quiet as they got out of their clothes. Fjord was glad for it, too. He’d had a difficult enough time maintaining a conversation with Caleb since he’d been back, and trying to do so while he was actively trying not to look at him would have been torture. Just the few glimpses he got out of the corner of his eyes: a bare arm, a leg, a shoulder, were hard enough to ignore. Fjord was most definitely  _ not _ looking, either, even though he could feel his eyes straining as he kept his head down but his gaze was focused sharply to the left. He could feel himself blushing, and not for the first time since he’d been back he was glad that the blood heating his face was more easily covered by his skin tone.

Then...the pools. He made sure he was either shoulder to shoulder with Caleb or walking in front of him as they grabbed towels and passed into the empty bathing room. Thank the Gods for those towels, too, and he quickly wrapped one around his waist before he turned to make for one of the stalls where basins of hot water and soap were waiting. He could, ostensibly, take that time to get himself under control. Every little hint of skin he saw in his peripheral vision was the worst kind of test of his resolve, and maybe a few minutes with his face buried in some water might at least keep him from thinking about it.

Yeah, right.

He was clean, anyway, or clean enough that he felt okay enough to approach the pools. They’d both lingered in their little stalls, which Fjord had to wonder about, but emerged around the same time. Caleb, too, had the towel he’d grabbed wrapped around his waist, and the shared a look before their attention snapped back to the choices in front of them. Now Fjord had to wonder if this was really supposed to be a group activity or if they would just go their separate ways until they decided it was time to go. Maybe that would be better. Maybe he should have a turn in the cold water just in case. Maybe...maybe…

“I don’t know about you,” Caleb said as he set off toward the pool that was the furthest away from them, “but this whole ‘mineral water’ thing has me curious.”

“Uh, yeah,” Fjord agreed, “I guess?”

“You’ve been riding for a while, haven’t you? Might be good to soak your bones in something meant for that, eh?”

Caleb got there first and settled himself on the ledge with his legs dipped in the water. It was hot, steaming a bit in fact, and he made a soft sound as he kicked his legs back and forth. Fjord knew that sound: that little gasp of pleasure mixed with the slightest bit of pain, and he gnawed on his lower lips as he watched Caleb first sit ramrod straight then relax a bit as his skin got used to it. He sighed again, brushed his hands over his face and through his hair, then turned to look back with a slightly expectant smile.

“How is it?” Fjord asked as he got a bit closer and knelt down to put his hand in the water Yep. Definitely hot. Deliciously so, actually. Suddenly all he wanted to do was get in, but that would require...fuck, that would require him to get out of that towel and actually sit down beside Caleb naked.

Another soft sound, and Caleb was reclined back a bit with his arms behind him, “Good,” he said, “hot. You may want to brace yourself.”

For more than just the heat, actually. Fjord was, by most accounts, kind of awkward. Yet since he’d met the Nein he’d rather come into his own. They’d done this before and it hadn’t been an issue. To hesitate now would only make things more awkward, and he’d about had his fill of that from himself. So he pulled his hand out of the water, took a breath, and swiftly pulled off the towel so he could climb into the pool and seat himself on the little ledge under the water.

It felt great. The water came up just under his shoulders, which made it easy to relax into, and Fjord let out a long sigh of his own. Sometimes taking the bull by the horns was the only way to deal with shit, and at least he was rewarded for it. He felt weightless and warmed through, and he tipped his head back a little and closed his eyes before he realized what he was doing. So Jester had been right. This was what he’d needed, and all the awkwardness and thinking back to those dreams couldn’t argue that. Just sitting there like that for an hour would ease him of the aches from the road, at least the physical ones, and he was fine with that.

For the first time since he’d woken up that morning with a phantom bite mark, he was fine. Actually fine.

“I forget you must have seawater in your blood for how quick you take to it,” Caleb mused after a long stretch of silence between then. There for a minute, lost as Fjord was in the darkness behind his eyelids, he’d forgotten that Caleb was even there. “You must...miss it, hm?”

One yellow eyes opened, and Fjord took in the sight of Caleb still reclined on the edge with his legs in the water and his body leaned back. His hair was damp from the heat and humidity in the room, and fell in ginger waves at his shoulders. For the first time since they got there, Fjord let himself take in the long lines of Caleb’s body- the pale skin, the slightly reddened elbows and knobby knees, the dusting of ginger hair that trailed down his stomach and disappeared under were the towel was wrapped around his waist, and how his arms that looked sometimes skinny and frail were taut with muscle. Fjord knew, both from the last time they’d been a bath house and those dreams, that Caleb had a deceptive sense of frailty about him. There was no mistake, though, the man was powerful. As he sat there, even as relaxed as he was, Fjord could see it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but found he couldn’t quite make the words come out. Shit. So he licked his lips and tried again, “I miss a lot of things,” Fjord managed, “sometimes the ocean. But, uh, being thrown in it and nearly dying kind of takes away the romance.”

Caleb chuckled just a little, and he tipped his chin down as though he were studying the water, “you still enjoy it though.”

“In smaller, less deadly doses,” Fjord joked, “I’m always up for a swim, but ever since...well, you know…”

“The vomiting seawater in your sleep?”

“Yeah,” he answered, “that. But I think I’ll always be drawn to it. Can’t help it.”

Caleb was quiet for a long moment after that. In the quiet, Fjord could swear he could hear the cogs in Caleb’s mind turning that over. It gave him the space to watch him again, and Fjord swallowed heavily as he watched pale legs gently kick back and forth in the water. They were far enough apart that he couldn’t reach him, even if he extended his arm all the way to the side, but in that moment Caleb felt close. He felt like he was a breath away, and that Fjord could feel the man’s heart beat against his chest. He should say something else, Fjord was sure of it, but as he went to speak again the sound of steps came up from behind them.

“Your refreshments, gentlemen,” the elf girl offered as she set down the tray on the ledge between them, “enjoy your stay with us.”

“Thank you,” Caleb replied with a nod, and smiled up at her as she turned and left.

The tray was laden with brilliantly coloured fruit, and the scent of sweetness hit Fjord’s nose. It smelled fresh and crisp, and his mouth watered for the sight of berries and citrus and other things he had never seen before with dark seeds in brightly coloured flesh. He was hungrier now than he had been at breakfast, and he sat up a little bit to inspect it. All of it looked amazing, and he reached out with one warm and wet hand to pick a strawberry from the tray. It was cold against his fingers, and he smiled as he brought it to his lips to bite.

Caleb, too, sat up and reached out over the plate. Long, skinny fingers hovered for a second in indecision, then lowered to grasp an orangey hunk of something with a hollowed out middle. As Fjord chewed, he watched Caleb bring the fruit up to his face and smell it. In his own mouth the sweetness of the strawberry hit his tongue, and it tasted better than anything he’d had in weeks. It soothed how dry his mouth had been, and as he watched Caleb he was glad that he had something to keep his jaw from falling open. Slowly, Caleb took a bite, and his other hand moved to cup under his jaw as juice ran from his lips. Fjord blinked, watched as it ran down into the scruff at his chin and down along his neck, and suddenly all he could taste was Caleb’s skin on his tongue mixed with the sweetness already in his mouth.

“Good thing there’s a bath after all this,” Caleb muttered before he took another bite. Fjord didn’t respond, and instead was intently focused on Caleb’s neck. 

It stirred something in him. Something known. Something that made his body heat in a way that had nothing to do with the hot pool he sat in. He shifted. He had to. Immediately that sight had him half hard in the water. Gods take him, but this was an entirely new level of torture. His mind was spinning, out of control and whirling in on itself, and as he went to set the stem of the strawberry down his hand was shaking just a little.

“This, uh…” he started in attempt to shift his attention to anything but Caleb, “this is good, right? Hot water and, uh, food. They didn’t have shit like this in Port Demali.”

“Even if they did, would you have gone?” Caleb asked.

“Probably not, no,” Fjord answered, “too rich for my blood.”

Again, Caleb was quiet. He finished the piece of fruit he’d been holding, then dipped his hands in the water to clean them off. “You didn’t find what you were looking for while you were gone,” he said, “or who, I suppose.”

This time Fjord shook his head, “No,” and cleared his throat a little. His mind was a little too preoccupied with what was going on to even think of Sabian right now. For the first time in a long time, he was far away. 

“Did you find anything?”

“Anything like….what, exactly?”

Caleb shrugged, “Anything that was worth being gone so long for?”

Found? No. Not really. If anything, what he’d found hadn’t been lost. He knew he’d had that kind of desire but refused to let himself indulge in it. Then he had, and all he’d found was a lust for more.

“My own, uh, peace of mind. I guess?”

At that, Caleb just nodded. He reached out again for something from the tray, but Fjord couldn’t look at him. His blood was already on fire. Watching more of that was going to drive him absolutely mad. At least he could blame the heat of the room for the flush on his cheeks, but there was no hiding the way his cock had stiffened. Hopefully that would go away in time, but watching Caleb with juice running down his neck and imagining what it might be like to lick it off was certainly not going to help.

“We missed you,” Caleb said, “while you were gone. Busy as we were, your...absence was definitely noticed.”

Fjord did turn his head then, and was faced with Caleb holding a handful of grapes in one palm and the other holding one to his lips. “Good to know,” he said, “I think it’s everyone’s worst fear to get back and realize people are better off without you.”

“Well, we’re not. I hope you know that.”

It was the most direct Caleb had ever been on the matter. They’d fought before, sure, and had been less than kind. They’d been terse and angry and antagonistic. This? This was genuine. Concerned. Fjord felt those words in his chest.

“I...appreciate that.”

“But  _ I _ hope,” Caleb went on, then paused after that. His brow furrowed and he popped another grape into his mouth as he seemed to gather his thoughts. Fjord was sitting up, practically on edge, as he waited for the end of that statement. “I hope that the time away gave you clarity. Or...something like it.”

It hadn’t. Not one bit. 

How did he explain that, though? The moment had gone from relaxed to frustrating to oddly genuine in under a hundred words. How did he convey that he was almost more confused, albeit about something different entirely, than he had been when he left? And how did he say anything without having to explain what and why?

“I, uh,” Fjord began again, “took some time for myself. Kind of unexpected, but it was still good.”

“Then I’m glad for you.”

Hands empty again, Caleb scooted more toward the edge of the pool and slipped off so that he could be seated in the water. The towel slid from around his waist and was piled in a heap on the other side of him. Then they were in the water together. Alone. In silence. It was so quiet, but Fjord’s ears were pounding with the knowledge that 1. They were alone and naked in a bath together and 2. That Caleb had expressed that he’d been missed. And that Caleb was concerned for his state of mind. It was a lot to take in.

They settled back into that silence and it was just the sound of the water around them. Occasionally the sound of sloshing filled the air as one of them reached up a hand for another piece of fruit. It stretched out for what felt like hours, but it was a reasonably comfortable silence that didn’t feel as though it needed to be filled with words. Fjord appreciated that, and he was sure Caleb did too. If he knew anything, he knew that Caleb didn’t appreciate unnecessary chatter.

After a while he did reach up and to the side to grab something else. He wasn’t paying attention, though, and his hand paused in mid-air when he brushed against not the cold flesh of the fruit but the warm and wet skin of Caleb’s hand. Immediately, Fjord’s vision swam. He didn’t feel sick or faint, but the edges of his vision went dark and hazy like it had done that night in the tavern when the dreams had come to him. Gone was the bath house and the plate of fruit between them, but what remained was the remembered feeling of a fleeting touch of warm skin on warm skin.

_ One hand clenched in the thin sheet under him, and his toes were curled up in much the same way. A hand pressed hard into his shoulder, pinned him to the bed, and Fjord was groaning long and loud into the mattress. Caleb’s weight on him was oddly comforting, as was the bite of short nails at the juncture of his shoulder and neck. Fjord felt him moving, thrusting hard and deep inside of him, and he hooked his free hand around the back of Caleb’s thigh to pull him harder and faster. He wanted more. Always more. His body and blood were on fire, and he could feel that heat coiling in his belly as Caleb’s thrusts came swift and sure into him with the precision and control that only he could wield. It had him begging: begging for more, begging for his pleasure, begging for his release. The he felt a hand, Caleb’s other hand, rest over the one of his still fisted in the blanket. He felt that warmth and calloused palms, and Fjord relaxed his hand just long enough that they could link fingers tightly as Caleb fucked him. _

“Holy shit,” Fjord panted, and shook his head. His eyes were blinking hard, and gone was the refreshment of the fruit from earlier. His mouth was dry like he’d been nearly biting the thin cotton. Now he was well and truly hard, and his body was so hot he thought he might melt right there in the pool.

He turned to look at Caleb, whose cheeks were much darker pink than they’d been moments ago. Maybe he was imagining it, though. Except it seemed Caleb’s breathing was suddenly as hard as his own. Had that...happened? Surely not. It was some remnant of the conjured fantasy. Clearly he didn’t have himself together enough for this. This was his mind playing tricks. Right?

“Are you alright?” Caleb asked. His voice was a bit thick and husky, and it sent shivers down Fjord’s spine.

All he could manage was a nod that had to look ridiculous. His brain was misfiring so hard that his nerves felt like he’d been hit by lightning. “Yeah,” he said finally, “just...uh...weird, uh, thing. In my head. Weird dreams. I must have remembered one.”

“You’re not going to start with the seawater again, are you?”

“Not that kind of dream.”

“You have more than just one kind of strange dream?” Caleb asked.

Fjord lifted his hands to rub at his face, “Apparently. This is more recent.”

“We may have to keep an eye on that.”

He had to fight to keep from reliving that flash. His desire for anything else to eat was gone, and instead Fjord focused on literally anything he could to cool his blood. He thought about ships: rigging and sails and wind speeds. He thought about traveling in the swamp. He thought about drinking in Hupperdook. Slowly, very slowly, his mind calmed and he was able to relax again. The hot water, though it did little to help cool him down, was good for that. Finally he felt like he could move and not totally embarrass himself.

“How do you feel about trying out the steam room?” he asked. After all the quiet his voice sounded loud to his own ears.

Caleb lifted his head from where it had been resting back against the edge of the pool, and he nodded with a small smile. “I’ve never tried one,” he said, “makes me wonder if it has any of the healing properties this water is supposed to have.”

One of Fjord’s hands reached out to grab his towel as he pulled himself up and out of the pool. He quickly wrapped the thin material around his waist and got to his feet, “I hear it’s supposed to be good for you if you’re sick,” he said, “might be worth a good turn.”

“Then I’m game.”

Fjord held out a hand to help pull Caleb up. He, too, quickly covered himself and they walked from the pool across warm stone to a heavy door. Once it was open they were met with a blast of air that was considerably hotter and wetter than even the bathing room. It smelled nice, though. That lingering scent of something fresh filled his nose and he wrinkled it just a bit before he stepped inside. 

It was dimly lit, and long benches made of worn wood lines the walls of the small room. The temperature hovered near unbearably hot, and he heard Caleb’s intake of breath as they filed in and the door shut behind them. If anything, this felt a lot more private than the other room had. It was small and enclosed, and Fjord cast a glance over his shoulder before he moved to sit near the corner. Caleb followed him, though he sat more toward the middle of the bench and leaned back against the wood. The heat only made Fjord more aware of the fact that he was wet and naked, and as he made himself comfortable he let himself spread out just a bit.

“So how long are we supposed to stay in here?” Caleb asked, “is there a time limit before one of us passes out?”

“I guess that depends on how hearty you are.”

He heard a chuckle off to the side, and he turned to see Caleb running his hands through his hair to get it off his neck. The ends were wet and sticking to his skin, and again Fjord followed the line of Caleb’s throat as water beaded and rolled downward. That was dangerous. In there, dim as it was, there was no water to mask anything. He needed to keep his cool, so to speak, in this little hothouse. 

“I believe the word Beauregard uses is ‘squishy’ when it comes to me,” Caleb said, “which is a little rude, if you ask me.”

“Nothing squishy about you,” Fjord commented, and when he realized what he said he blinked twice, “I-I mean...not, uh...you do a lot of damage, is what I mean. People underestimate you.”

“Do you?”

No. No he didn’t. Not anymore. Not for a while.

“Nope,” he said, “I know better.”

They let that lie where it was and the talk petered out into that same comfortable silence. In the heat and humidity and darkness it was like they were the only two in the whole world. Zadash could have been burning down around them, but they didn’t notice. All Fjord cared about was the heat seeping into his bones and the steady breathing beside him. That, and how the longer they sat the less steamy it seemed to get.

So saying, he hauled himself to his feet, and moved to pour a few ladles of water from a bucket into a brazier where coals were burning low and hot. Immediately steam rose and filled the air with that same fresh scent, and he took a few steps backward as to not be scalded from it. It was pleasant, though. He liked that. He linked how it seemed to loosen all the gunk in his head and in his lungs so he could breathe better and deeper than he could out in the cold air. The Empire was colder than home, and he missed a sea breeze. This wasn’t a breeze off the ocean, but it would do in a pinch.

“I have strange dreams too,” Caleb said, apropos of nothing. It just fell into the silence, and Fjord turned to seem blue eyes watching him. “Recent ones,” he went on, “where I wasn’t sure if they were real or just my mind. And so...vivid. I think I woke up from them feeling like they’d actually happened.”

He didn’t move. He hardly dared to breathe. Was...was Caleb saying…

“And I couldn’t tell if they were mine or someone else’s.”

“That’s...unusual,” Fjord chanced, “has that ever happened before?”

Caleb shook his head, “No. Maybe when I was younger, but I can hardly remember that now.”

“Do you know whose dreams they might have been?” he asked as he took a couple of steps back toward the bench.

“I do, yes,” Caleb answered as he sat up a little more. His head cocked to the side, and held held Fjord’s gaze heavily. He didn’t even blink. “Do you?”

“Do...I?” he asked. If this was what he thought this was, he wanted Caleb to at least give him some sign. Otherwise he was going to look like an idiot. “Why would I know? I mean, it’s your dream.” He pulled his gaze away then and looked down. His heart was thundering in his chest, and Fjord couldn’t look into those blue eyes like that. 

“Look at me.”

Oh, Gods. Fjord felt the words roll over him like a wave. They were the same tone: commanding but gentle, and suddenly the ambient heat of the room was cool in comparison to the heat in his blood. He swallowed hard, but couldn’t breathe. His pulse was racing, and his breath caught in his throat.

“Fjord,” Caleb prompted, “look at me.”

He did. Yellow eyes looked up from where they’d been trained on the floor, and met blue ones. Caleb was sitting up and watching him, and for what felt like both seconds and hours they just looked into each other’s eyes. His throat was dry again, despite the humidity, and Fjord couldn’t help how his body moved on its own. He couldn’t control the steps he took as he came closer, nor could he control how one hand reached out to touch Caleb’s face once he was close enough.

Caleb inhaled deeply as Fjord touched him, and blue eyes slid closed. He relaxed into that touch and pressed his scruffy cheek into the warm palm that cupped his face. Then one hand lifted to Fjord’s shoulder to pull him down. Down and down. Down until Fjord knelt between Caleb’s knees. Long fingers tangled in dark hair, and Caleb pulled him closer until their noses almost touched. But he didn’t pull any further. He opened his eyes and again they were lost- blue into yellow into blue. 

“Say the word,” Caleb whispered, “and this stops.”

“No fuckin’ way,” Fjord growled, and his lips were on Caleb’s and his hands were on pale skin. It was like he was in two places at once- the steam room now and that tavern room then, and everything about it felt so familiar and right that Fjord suddenly couldn’t remember why he’d been so self conscious before. Their mouths pressed together, lips parted and tongues dancing, and he groaned into that kiss. This wasn’t a dream. This was reality. This was really happening. 

Caleb’s hands stayed in his hair, tangled and pulled and tugged, and it only spurred Fjord on. His hands roamed down across Caleb’s neck and chest, then lower down to his stomach where the towel was still wrapped around his waist. That skin was addictive. He wanted more of it pressed against his own. So he pushed forward until Caleb’s back was against the bench and they were nearly chest to chest with Fjord still on his knees. Those hands held him fast against warm skin, and another groan escaped him as Caleb nipped at his lower lip before he kissed him again.

The heat in the room was already almost too much, and Fjord needed to breathe long before he was ready to give up that kiss. He pulled his lips away, though, and let Caleb’s hands guide him lower so he could kiss and bite at the warm and wet skin of Caleb’s neck. He tasted just as Fjord remembered, smelled the same too, and he dug his fingers into Caleb’s thighs as he sank a bite into the man’s pulse. It was rougher than he had been before, and Caleb jerked and threw his head back with a gasp.

“Just not...where anyone can see,” Caleb breathed.

“You wear a scarf, don’t you?” Fjord teased against his throat, though he moved lower to kiss and suck at the thin skin at Caleb’s collarbone.

“Cheeky,” he said, and grunted for the feeling of Fjord’s teeth.

His mouth moved again, back up under Caleb’s ear, and he nuzzled in a bit before kissing that spot just below his earlobe, “Call it payback for the bite you left on me.”

“That was just a dream, remember?”

At that, Fjord pulled away and cocked an eyebrow as he looked up. Caleb was gorgeous like this, all flushed and sporting a couple of pink marks on his neck. His hair was in more disarray that normal, even curling a bit in the steam, and those blue eyes were dark. Dark, Fjord realized, because he’d kissed him. He grinned, and lifted one hand to tap at his chest where that mystery bruise had been. “Four days, it was there,” he said, “in the real world. And you did it.”

Caleb’s eyes widened then, and he looked down at where Fjord’s fingers tapped his chest, then he searched Fjord’s face. His mouth opened like he might say something, but instead he just reached out and pulled Fjord back into him so that their mouths crashed together again. He pulled and pulled, pulled until Fjord was up off his knees and in his lap, and kissed him until neither of them could breathe. Hands kneaded and tugged and scratched, and the small room was filled with the muffled sounds of their moans being swallowed through kisses.

“I want you,” Caleb sighed against Fjord’s lips, and his hands left dark hair to caress down Fjord’s back until they hitched up the towel and grabbed a handful each of his arse. His fingers dug in, ground them together, and Fjord groaned at the feeling of it. They were both hard now, the only thing that kept them apart were the thin towels that were still tied around their waists, but even that friction alone was enough to make him choke back a moan.

“I want…” he began, and bit at his lower lips as he tugged at the towels until he could get his hand under both of them, “you too.” Like Caleb had done in that dream, or what was maybe less of a dream and more of some shared mutual fantasy, he wrapped one large hand around them both. Caleb’s hips surged upward, and he threw his head back as Fjord’s hand stroked them both. He leaned in, hand still moving slowly, and set to kissing his way along Caleb’s jaw and throat, “Fuck, I’ve wanted you since that day at Pumat’s when we first got here.”

“What...what day was that?” Caleb’s voice was breathy, shaky, and he gasped as Fjord rubbed his thumb over the head of Caleb’s cock.

“When we went in there the first time. He cleaned you up,” Fjord’s voice was low and rumbly, and he kissed back up to Caleb’s ear, “I just...didn’t want to admit it.”

“Fuck,” Caleb hissed, “you...you and that damned sword. And all that fucking  _ talent _ .”

His hand worked them faster, and Caleb’s fingers dug even harder into Fjord’s arse. It was the exquisite bite of pain that made the feeling of his hand that much better, and it was going to take all his willpower not to get them both off right there in the steam room. Would that be so bad, though? Have a steam and blow off some steam? Clearly it had been building for a while, and he was more than happy to relieve some of that pent up pressure.

“Wait,” Caleb gasped, and shook his head. One hand moved to grab Fjord’s wrist, and he looked up to meet his gaze, “if we...do this in here, one of us really will pass out. Probably me.”

“I can always carry you back.”

“Remind me to actually gag you next time,” he sighed, and nodded toward the door, “I have a better idea, anyway.”

And so, tangle of limbs and all, they made it to their feet. The towels were forgotten, and they stepped out into the relatively cool air of the bathing room. One of Caleb’s hands slipped into Fjord’s, and he tugged him back along the warm stone floor and back toward the little stalls with the washbasins they’d started out in. He turned to look over his shoulder and was smirking that same little smirk he’d had before. In the not-dream. And that made Fjord’s cock throb as Caleb pulled him back into relative privacy and practically shoved him up against the wall.

“Now we can at least breathe,” he teased, grabbed Fjord’s hips with both hands.

He smiled, “I’d say breathing’s a little overrated right now.”

Caleb rolled his eyes, and in a flash he used the hold he had on Fjord’s hips to spin him around. It was only a quick grab for the wall that saved him from cracking his head against the stone, and before he knew it he was half bent over with his fingers grabbing for purchase. He felt warm hands on his waist, then up and over his back, and he turned to look just in time to feel a kiss pressed between his shoulder blades. That was...sweet. Unexpected and sweet. Like that moment in the not-dream. Fjord smiled, and that kiss went from one to two to three before those warm lips started to move down along his spine and lower.

Each kiss sent little shocks through him, and Fjord bit at his lower lip for how they went from almost prim and soft to wet and sloppy the lower they went. Hands were at his arse again, kneaded into what he liked to think was firm muscle, and at the base of his spine the kisses stopped. Fjord’s heart was beating in anticipation, nerves alight with it, and he gulped when he felt those hands spread him open and a warm puff of air hit him.

“Caleb-”

“We just spent an hour in the bath,” he said from somewhere behind and below, “do you trust me?”

He thought back to that night, to how Caleb had seemed to know what he wanted and needed, and Fjord found that he did trust him. He trusted him there in that bath house just the same as he trusted him in combat. He trusted him to keep them safe. And he trusted Caleb to show him things that he didn’t even know he wanted or needed before.

“I trust you,” he whispered.

Another puff of air, and Fjord’s mouth fell open as something warm and wet pressed against him. A groan was stuck in his throat, and his body spasmed as Caleb’s tongue licked and swirled and prodded. His knees felt like they were about to give out. It was so unlike anything else, and the feeling of it went straight to his already hard and aching cock. His fingers dug in as best they could against the stone to try to give himself even a little bit of leverage, but the reality was that he was powerless against the feeling of Caleb’s tongue.

“Caleb, Gods,” Fjord whimpered, and pressed his forehead against the wall. That gentle licking got more and more pointed, and he moaned as he felt that wet muscle slip inside him for the first time. It was shallow at first, but steadily it worked in deeper and deeper until he was keening and begging against the stone. Then it slipped out of him and went back to just teasing, and Fjord felt himself growl in frustration. He wanted more, more of that feeling of something inside him, and he swallowed hard as he pushed his hips backward against Caleb’s mouth. 

A soft hum came from Caleb’s throat, and Fjord gasped as those hands held him open just a bit more. Then Caleb’s tongue was back, and thrusting deeply into him. He felt it all the way up his spine, and Fjord all but howled as he rocked up onto his tiptoes. It was so much, so much so that his body almost tried to squirm away from the sensation, but Caleb held him in place. It was filthy. The sounds they were making were filthy, but it only fed his desire more.

One hand pulled away from the wall and reached behind him to tangle in Caleb’s hair. He pushed and pulled, held him in tight to keep the feeling of that tongue inside him, and he groaned for the feeling. “Fuck...me,” he groaned, “Caleb, please. Please, please, please.”

One hand let him go, and Fjord moaned as he felt one long finger rub against his entrance beside that tongue. Slowly, far for slowly that he would like, that finger worked its way in and he felt Caleb’s lips move away as that finger thrust in and out of him. Yes, yes that was what he wanted. Gods help him, but he was sweating and panting against the wall, begging for more, and rocking backward to fuck himself on that finger that filled him. It was too much and not nearly enough.

He heard something off to the side, and opened one eye long enough to see Caleb’s other hand rummaging across the counter. Clearly he was looking for something. “What...what do you need?” he asked, and his breath hitched as Caleb’s finger crooked inside him, “tell me. Fuck, please tell me.”

“There’s a bottle of oil,” Caleb said, and his voice was a lot more even than Fjord had expected, “can you grab it?”

His hands felt a bit stupid as he reached out for one of the small glass vials that sat beside the basin. It was for after the bath, he assumed, and was light and smelled of that same fresh scent the steam room had. “Here,” he said as he passed it down, and Caleb took it with a smile.

“You remember the deal?” he asked a bit more seriously, and pulled the cork out of the vial with his teeth before he dropped it to the side, “say the word and it stops, if you need.”

Again, Caleb crooked that finger inside him, and Fjord let out an airy cry, “Not...gonna need to, but thanks.”

He felt the oil dribble down onto Caleb’s hand and sighed as he worked it in with a few gentle thrusts of that finger. It eased the slide a bit more than his tongue had, and that was enough to make Fjord’s muscles relax just a little. Nothing had hurt, relaxed as he’d been from all the hot water and steam, but the oil was a welcome addition. Then one finger became two, and he sighed for the stretch. Like before, Caleb’s fingers seemed to know what he needed as they crooked and thrust until he was desperately rocking backward again.

Those two fingers were three now, and like before with the kiss he was in two places.  Fjord remembered this feeling, remembered what had come after it, and he let his head drop down between his arms as Caleb worked at him. This would have been enough, were he less greedy, but he knew what else he could have. He knew the feeling of Caleb’s cock inside him, and he wanted it. He wanted it more than anything else.

“You’re good?” Caleb asked.

“Not as good as you-” he started to tease, but lifted back up onto his toes again as Caleb sought out that one spot inside him that made his mind go white. His fingertips prodded and rubbed, and the choked sound that left Fjord’s chest earned him a chuckle. 

Those fingers hardly slowed, though he did feel that Caleb had gotten back to his feet. He heard the sound of glass hitting the marble counter, and then what was the unmistakable noise of slicked skin on skin. It was only then that those fingers pulled out of him, left him empty and open, and he braced himself for what was coming next. He knew, oh how he knew, but it didn’t compare to the only slightly clumsy feeling of the head of Caleb’s cock butting up against his entrance.

Then it was the slow push, and he mouth fell open again as his body opened up to all but pull Caleb into him. It was an easy movement, aided by the oil and those fingers from before, but it left him breathless. Had he been breathless the last time? Had the feeling of being filled like that stolen the air from his lungs? Not that it mattered. All that mattered was the feeling of Caleb easing into him, inch by inch, until his hips were snug against Fjord’s arse. It was the same and so much more than the last time. The not-dream had been so real, but even it couldn’t prepare him for the reality of it all. 

“Don’t move,” Fjord whimpered, “just...I need a second.”

Caleb didn’t move, not for a long moment, and instead just ran his hands along Fjord’s flank and along his back to soothe him. His body was taut like a bowstring, and those hands helped to relax him back into it. That made it easier, better, and after what felt like hours he finally let the air out of his chest and sighed. “Okay,” he said finally, “better now.”

Those hands moved again, this time back around to his front. Fjord breathed in, waited for the feeling of one of those hands to close around his cock, but they moved upward instead. Up, along his stomach to his chest, then a finger and thumb each closed around one of his nipples. They pinched, hard, and at the same moment Caleb snapped his hips back and then forward. That really stole the breath from him, but in the best way. Caleb’s hands moved in tandem with his hips, pinching as he thrust, and all Fjord could do was grasp at the wall and hang on.

Steadily those fingers pinched harder as Caleb’s thrusts got faster and sharper. It stole all rational thought from Fjord’s head, and he was left with naught but the ability to make noise. His own hand curled around his cock, and he bucked his hips back and forth in time to fuck his fist and them himself back onto Caleb. It was a punishing rhythm, but it made stars dance behind his eyes. Like that night, it seemed neither of them cared how much noise they made. He half worried that the same elf attendant might come in at the ruckus, but no one came. At least, no one came to check up on them. 

Near his ear, he could heard Caleb. He was grunting in time with his hips, and the little  _ ‘ah, ah, ah’ _ sounds of pleasure he made had Fjord stroking himself faster. Then those hands left his chest and went to his shoulders, and from there it was Caleb pushing and pulling him. Fjord could hardly control his body by then, and he was glad to let Caleb be the one to hold him and move him as he liked. It was that control again, and it dumped even more heat into his blood.

He felt a shift, Caleb had moved them just a little, and even just that small amount of change was his undoing. Somehow that subtle difference of angle had Caleb’s cock hitting that spot his fingers had found, and Fjord was lost, Between the pounding rhythm of Caleb’s hips and the feeling of his own hand he let out a long and loud cry as he spilled through his fingers. It was like he’d tumbled off a cliff and into the sea, but the sea was rolling in a storm. He was tossed this way and that as Caleb fucked him hard, and the storm only settled when he felt Caleb’s cock throbbing inside him and the man still at his back.

Their hips rolled together, and he felt Caleb’s labored breathing against his shoulder. Fjord lifted his head, straightened his back a bit, and curled one arm over his shoulder to tangle back those ginger waves, This time he didn’t pull or tug, but instead he let his short nails scratch gently along Caleb’s scalp. He could feel Caleb smiling, too. It wasn’t that same smirk, either. Somehow he could feel that, and they stayed like that for a long few moments before they could breathe enough to figure out just what the next step was.

As it turned out, the next step was another wash up before they both settled back in the hot pool. Fjord’s muscles were tired and sore again, and he was thankful to drop his body back into the heated water. This time, though, they sat beside each other, and Fjord let his head rest on Caleb’s shoulder. One of Caleb’s hands traced along the back of his neck, back up into his hair, then just held him close. He could have slept like that, and maybe he did doze off for a little while, but he more enjoyed the feeling of another body pressed up against his side. It was that same remembered warmth he’d expected to wake up next to that morning after those dreams. Only this time when he opened his eyes Caleb was still there.

Again they washed up, after finally dragging themselves out of the pool, and dressed. It felt almost strange to put the same clothes back on after that. When they left they would be the same Fjord and Caleb, but they would not at all be the same Fjord and Caleb. They were quiet as they dressed, as they had been before all this had even started, only this time there were little smiles and brushes of hands on skin and the press of lips to shoulders and foreheads.

When they left, after they’d given the attendant a rather nice tip, they walked back out of the Pillow Trove with their fingers linked together. They stayed that way until they’d cleared the gates, and it was with a squeeze that Caleb pulled his hand away and tucked it back into his pocket. Fjord immediately missed it, and out of nowhere he was upset that perhaps this had been a singular situation. That it would never happen again. That...that couldn’t happen.

The afternoon passed into evening. The Nein reconvened at the tavern they stayed in, and both Fjord and Caleb were regaled with stories of Pumat Sol and what treasures the others had found. They were leaving soon, after all. They were going somewhere else on a new adventure. That was the reality. They would go and move on, and Fjord could only hope that what had happened wouldn’t be left in Zadash. Jester had prodded both he and Caleb about their afternoon, to which they’d answered that it had been great. Caleb could lie just as well as Fjord could, and neither let on that it had been anything more than just a long soak in a hot tub. She seemed pleased with that.

That night he was one of the first to turn in. Something about all that hot water and relaxation had made him want to sleep after such a long journey back, and the others had sent him off with smiles. He’d missed that. He’d missed the gentle teasing, the inappropriate jokes, and just how much the Nein had somehow turned into a weird little family of sorts. Even the newcomer Clay had managed to find his place, though the others still seemed to hold him at arm’s length. That would change though.

Fjord made his way back up to the room, and once he closed the door behind him he sighed. Another night. Another night in a slightly familiar room. That was good. He’d stripped himself of his armor, early as it was, and had managed to splash some water on his face before looking over at one of the two small beds. One of them looked slightly more comfortable than the other, so maybe that would be his pick for the night. At least he wasn’t drunk, though. That was nice. Warmed through, yes, but not at all tired or tipsy.

He sat down with a sigh. Boots next. Boots off and then he could sleep. From where he sat he could hear the lower tones of Beau and Clay talking, the intermittent ring of Jester’s laughter, and the sound of weight being shifted on the floorboards. They’d all settle in soon, he figured, and had just pulled off his second boot when a soft knock came to the door. Clay, probably. Since Molly...well, since they’d been back it seemed the Firbolg was his new de facto roommate. 

“It’s open,” he said loud enough to be heard, and lifted his head to see not the colourful robes of Clay but instead the much smaller form of Caleb stepping inside.

“Ah, Nott and Jester are going to room together tonight,” Caleb explained. There was that halting quality to his words, and his voice was soft. In his arms was a pile of books and paper, and Fjord cocked an eyebrow as the human edged inside and kicked the door shut behind him. “Something about special detective things,” he went on, “I...would it be alright if I stayed with you?”

Fjord blinked and looked around for just a moment before he turned back to Caleb. One hand lifted, index finger pointed first at Caleb then at the door. “I…” he started, “you…”

“You can say no, you know,” Caleb teased.

He shook his head, “No, I mean...not no, but no I don’t want to say no. Just, I mean, I just got the weirdest feeling of deja vu.”

Caleb smiled and set his things down on the bed before he took a seat beside Fjord. One hand rested on his knee, and Caleb tipped his head to the side. So maybe it hadn’t been a dream. Not really. Or a fantasy. Maybe...maybe it was just a reminder that reality could be so very close to both. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, I did it! I finished this last chapter in about three intense writing sessions. Thank you all so much for the love this has gotten, and we'll see you next time for a brand new AU!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr! @sallyamongpoison

**Author's Note:**

> This took me entirely too long to write, but here we are. Chapter 3 is coming, though!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr! @sallyamongpoison


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